Relieve pressure to make holidays perfect

While the holidays are generally happy times, many feel pressure to make the holidays “perfect.” The emphasis on fashioning a flawless holiday causes these usually happy times to be laced with stress and anxiety. 

Much of our pressure is self-imposed.  We stress over buying the perfect gift, ensuring that everyone gets exactly what they want (and that they are surprised), preparing the perfect dinner, and decorating our homes inside and out. Often the busyness of the season leaves little time to reflect on its meaning. 

The commercialization of the holidays can be a source of frustration for families and individuals alike. So what’s the answer?  You can enjoy the holiday season with your checkbook and sanity intact by keeping in mind a few guidelines.

• Set your own standards.  You can take control of the holidays by deciding what does and does not fit your lifestyle. The holidays portrayed in the media most often do not reflect the reality of holiday celebration in most American homes. Seek to make the holidays real for your family and yourself.
• Make a plan. Sit your family down and ask what they think the holidays should be like.  You may find out that the outdoor light display is more trouble than its worth, and your husband and kids would rather help bake cookies than untangle strings of lights. This way the entire family has buy-in, and you don’t bear the burden of making decisions for everyone.
• Set a budget and stick to it.  It’s great to want to buy the perfect gift for your kids, spouse, in-laws and friends, but it can be too much to take on and too much to spend. The value of a gift can’t be judged by its price tag. The best gifts come from a sincere desire to make a person happy. If you give from the heart, your gift will never be too small.
• Talk to your extended family and determine a small amount to spend on each niece, nephew or cousin.  Or, you can draw names and purchase only one gift for that child. Odds are if you can’t afford either the time or money, neither can your relatives.  By making the suggestion, you take the pressure off everyone.
• If you can’t be with the one you love because of divorce, military commitments, or finances find creative ways to make the holiday special. For example, send a special videotaped greeting to a far away relative, or arrange to spend another day together as “Christmas.”

Enjoy the holidays for what they are, not what they should be.  Remember that you have a real family, not a TV family. There may still be arguments and rivalries among siblings – even grown ones. You may not be in control of other people’s actions, but you can control your reaction to them.

The fun of traditions is creating them for you and your family, not taking on someone else’s ideal and working to make it fit.  There’s no rule that says you must spend the holidays by the fireplace roasting chestnuts, drinking eggnog and singing carols. Paint your own picture of the ideal holiday, imperfections and all.

Related Articles

• Kari Henley: The Splendor And The Struggle Of Holiday Gatherings (huffingtonpost.com)

Holiday weight gain predictions bloated

Tis the season for weight gain. We are in that wonderful season where we hear, and usually ignore, those awful predictions that we’ll gain between five and ten pounds before New Year’s Day.  In hopes of making your holidays a bit happier, you should know that the numbers are untrue.

The annual estimate of just how many pounds Americans will pack on between Thanksgiving and New Year’s Day has been revised.  More recent research suggests that we tend to gain about one pound during the holidays, as opposed to the five to ten pounds previously reported.

But before you pour yourself some eggnog in celebration, realize that most people don’t lose that one pound gain.  Over several years, this slight weight gain can become problematic.

Volunteers in a study of holiday weight gain conducted by the National Institutes of Health found that on average, participants weighed a pound and a half heavier one year after the holiday season.  Fewer than 10% of study volunteers gained 5 pounds or more, and those who were already overweight were more likely to have larger increases in weight.

The key factors related to holiday weight gain in this study were not the number of parties attended or increased stress, but the activity and hunger levels of participants. It’s no surprise that those who reported less hunger and increased activity were less likely to gain weight—eating too much and exercising too little are the primary reasons why two-thirds of Americans are overweight or obese.

With all the goodies around, hunger can seem to increase for psychological reasons. Who can pass up the temptation of Mom’s coconut pie or the plate full of peppermint fudge? Most likely though, the behavior that leads to weight gain is grazing—eating just a few bites here and there.

That broken cookie or the last few bites of potatoes can add up to significant calories over the course of a day. For example:

• Half of a cookie-baking casualty: 30 calories
• One piece of peanut brittle a coworker brought to work: 80 calories
• Cracker and spread sample at the grocery store: 40 calories
• Small samples of flavored holiday coffee: 20 calories
• One chocolate covered cherry from the box that “appeared” in the break room: 60 calories
• 3 chips and dip: 75 calories
• ½ cup of eggnog: 200 calories!
• 2 big spoonfuls of sweet potatoes to clean out the bowl: 60 calories
• Heaping tablespoon full of peppermint ice cream (just to sample): 100 calories

All of these “small bites” add up to 665 calories. Do this everyday and you’ll gain one pound a week.  There’s nothing merry about that!

If you want to avoid gaining weight over the holidays, be mindful of what you’re eating and be more active. If you’re waiting for January 1^st to start that exercise program, get a head start on it and increase your activity now. In reality, there’s nothing magical about that January 1^st date, and there’s no reason to wait.

Good health is the best gift you can give yourself and your family.  It truly is the gift that keeps on giving!

Related Articles

• The “Holiday Creep:” Seasonal Weight Gain (psychologytoday.com)